10x Unfinished Business
Why Leaders Must Learn to Hold the Broken Without Fixing It
We like closure. We crave tidy endings. We gravitate toward resolution, solutions neatly tied with a bow.
But what happens when life does not cooperate? When the situation before you is not a problem to be solved but a complexity to be held?
Over recent months, I have faced personal experiences that stubbornly refuse to fit into a clean category or neatly conclude. These experiences have been deeply emotional, ongoing, and at times overwhelming. And amidst this turbulence, an unexpected revelation emerged:
Great leadership is not always about creating clarity; sometimes, it is about embracing uncertainty and holding space for complexity.
The Manager as Keeper of Complexity
We are conditioned as leaders to be problem solvers, masters of next steps, and champions of decisive action. We love frameworks, predictable timelines, and clear KPIs. But humans, with their raw vulnerability and unpredictable lives, do not fit into neat workflows or performance dashboards.
When someone on your team faces burnout, grief, divorce, health crises, or existential questions, your instinct might be to jump into solution mode. To fix it. Yet, the most profound leadership often comes when you resist that urge.
Instead, you:
Hold the space for unresolved tension without immediately moving to closure.
Allow them to bring their messy, unfinished selves into conversations.
Recognize the whole person, not just the professional avatar.
For example, I recall managing a team member experiencing severe burnout. Initially, I wanted to prescribe solutions: time off, therapy recommendations, workload adjustments. But what helped most was simply listening. Over several conversations, I learned to hold silence, give room for emotions, and avoid rushing the healing process. Eventually, the individual felt genuinely supported and regained clarity at their own pace.
This is not about lowering expectations; it is about expanding your leadership capacity to include empathy and emotional agility.
From Control to Presence: A New Leadership Paradigm
When personal upheaval hits, you quickly realize how limited your control truly is. Projects, deadlines, and performance reviews—everything feels ephemeral, fragile, and transient.
In these moments, your real tools are not the ones in your productivity stack. They are far subtler:
Presence: Being fully with someone without rushing to conclusions.
Compassion: Genuine empathy without judgment.
Listening: The simple but powerful act of witnessing without interruption.
A mentor once shared with me a profound example of presence. During a major organizational restructuring, he faced significant uncertainty about his own role. Instead of pretending to have everything figured out, he openly admitted his concerns to his team. This transparency created an environment where everyone felt safe sharing their fears and hopes. Ultimately, they navigated the transition with greater trust and cohesion.
When we shift from trying to control outcomes to providing genuine presence, we step into a deeper, more transformative form of leadership. Your authority then does not stem from hierarchy but from emotional attunement, the quiet strength of truly seeing others.
You are not the hero who fixes their chaos. You are the mirror that shows them they are strong enough to weather the storm.
Strategic Ambiguity: Embracing the Unknown at Work
A parallel exists in professional life, what I have come to call strategic ambiguity.
Not every project comes neatly packaged. Some initiatives are ambiguous by nature, rife with uncertainties, competing priorities, and fuzzy ownership. Your first reaction might be to impose clarity prematurely, risking oversimplification.
I experienced this firsthand when leading a cross functional project at a previous role. Stakeholders had conflicting goals, unclear responsibilities, and evolving requirements. Initially, my instinct was to push aggressively for immediate clarity, which led to confusion and resistance. Over time, I learned that holding ambiguity and allowing the team space to organically reach alignment resulted in stronger ownership, clearer communication, and ultimately, better outcomes.
Strategic ambiguity involves consciously choosing to hold uncertainty with confidence, trusting your team's resilience and resourcefulness until clarity organically emerges.
This is not indecision; it is emotional maturity, and it is a hallmark of true leadership. It differentiates not just good managers from great ones, but 7x managers from genuine 10x leaders.
When You are the One in the Storm
Sometimes, it is you going through upheaval. It is you facing chaos personally, emotionally, or professionally. And in those moments, leadership might feel overwhelming or even impossible.
Here is a truth leaders often forget to acknowledge:
It is okay to lead when you are not okay.
It is human to show up with vulnerabilities, cracks, and uncertainties, provided you remain transparent about your boundaries and needs.
I recall a challenging period when I faced significant personal loss. Initially, I felt pressured to project strength and resilience at work, hiding my grief. However, once I shared honestly with my team, the dynamic changed. My transparency allowed them to step up, offer support, and grow stronger as a cohesive unit. Vulnerability does not undermine your credibility. It reveals your humanity, empowering your team to embrace theirs.
Remember:
Integrity matters more than details. You owe honesty, not disclosure of every personal struggle.
Grounded transparency allows your team to support you without burdening them unnecessarily.
Team Resilience in Uncertain Times
From my recent journey, I have observed a crucial truth:
Teams do not fracture because people are vulnerable. They fracture when leaders refuse to acknowledge vulnerability.
Resilient teams openly recognize hard seasons. They do not avoid discomfort; they name it, sit with it, and navigate it collectively.
For instance, during an intense product launch, one team member faced sudden health issues. Instead of pretending everything was normal, we openly discussed how to redistribute workload and adjust expectations. This acknowledgment not only protected the individual’s well being but strengthened overall team morale and cohesion.
Whether it is your own struggle or someone else's, resist the urge to rush toward neat solutions. Instead, practice:
Naming reality: Clearly and openly acknowledging the moment.
Creating emotional safety: Allowing team members to operate below their maximum capacity temporarily without penalty.
Providing scaffolding: Building interim support structures so your team can continue effectively despite the turbulence.
The Gift of Holding, Not Fixing
Not everything is meant to be resolved. Some things are simply meant to be experienced. Some chapters do not close neatly; they trail off, leaving us wiser, more compassionate, and more authentically human.
A friend recently navigated a career crossroads, uncertain about whether to stay in a stable job or pursue entrepreneurial passions. As much as I wanted to guide him toward clarity, what truly supported him was simply holding space for his uncertainty, allowing him to explore deeply without pressure.
If you are navigating such a chapter, remember:
You are not weak; you are courageously human. You are cultivating deeper empathy and grounding yourself as a leader.
Leadership is not about eliminating chaos. It is about developing the capacity to hold it with steadiness, grace, and strength.
In doing so, you give yourself and your team permission to be genuine, to show up wholly, and to remain resilient, even when the story remains unfinished.
~10xManager